How do we treat ourselves in difficult times? In times when we are not succeeding, failing or feeling stuck, in an ongoing crisis? In moments when it is difficult for us to see the light? Is our inner speech then encouraging, soft and soothing? Or judgmental, critical and harsh? Do we want to be good to ourselves in these moments? To weaken the judging and/or accusing inner speech and be the encouraging and inclusive inner speech, like the one we would speak to our children or a beloved friend. We know how to show compassion to others around us, but in moments of suffering when things are difficult, we become our own worst enemies. The meaning of being human is to also embrace our vulnerabilities, flaws, weaknesses, and helplessness. This doesn't just happen to us, we live in a society that sanctifies success and a high self-image. Our self-worth is measured by what we perceive as successes and by the self-image we have cultivated, but what happens when we fail? When we resist accepting ourselves as we are? The flaws? We are triggered by a judgmental voice that we don't even know is controlling us. We forget that it is possible to be kind to ourselves in these moments. In reality, the self-criticism we have of ourselves threatens our self-worth and sabotages our motivation. This is because we are attacking the problem that is us. From an evolutionary perspective, our need for people to care for us and take care of us is essential for our survival and without it we cannot thrive. We are wired for love, but we cannot fulfill this need only through other people. We must learn to take care of ourselves and show compassion to ourselves in difficult moments. Christine Neff, a Buddhist psychologist, describes that compassion consists of three axes and humans can be located at different places along the axis. The first axis is non-judgmental and kind. Compassion means not judging ourselves positively, but accepting who we are and choosing not to resist. Instead of thinking that something has gone wrong and getting stuck in self-blame or self-pity, acknowledge that we are not perfect. This will allow us to be kind and gentle with ourselves. The second axis is separateness and connection. It is the recognition that we are all human, that we do not have infinite powers, and that difficult experiences are part of what it means to be human. When we are frustrated or stuck, we feel like we are the only person suffering or making mistakes, while connection to common humanity helps us understand that all humans suffer. The third axis is identification and attention. Our ability to “take a step back” and not identify with thoughts and feelings such as anger, fear, and anxiety. This is where we are balanced, where we observe thoughts and feelings with openness and clarity, without over-identification. Mindfulness describes observing without judgment and without trying to suppress or deny. In any case, we need to acknowledge that we are experiencing distress or suffering in order to be able to give ourselves compassion. Although self-compassion is the answer to a life with much less suffering, we have a hard time cultivating it within ourselves. This has to do with the fact that many of us did not experience compassion from others as children, and therefore it is difficult for us to calm ourselves down, it is something we have not learned. In addition, our default is to see the negative and self-compassion is a reverse process, which does not come easily to us. We are often not even aware of the critical way in which we relate to ourselves and live on automatic, not recognizing this possibility and believing that self-compassion will lead us to laziness and defeatism, which in reality is very far from the truth. To practice self-compassion, we must practice mindful awareness, directing our attention to the present moment with openness, acceptance, and non-judgment. This way we can recognize the judgmental voices and meet the pain they cause. This means allowing the experience to exist as it is and cultivating motivation to alleviate suffering and ourselves. Self-compassion is a courageous choice because we must be able to look our fears in the eye, see things as they are, without assumptions and without filters. It doesn't happen in an instant, choosing self-compassion is like a road map, and each time we will have to choose it anew. In difficult moments, it helps us take a deep breath, make room for emotions, observe our thoughts without judgment, and deal with the ever-changing reality. Step by step, hour by hour, and with attention. Studies on the effectiveness of self-compassion in promoting development and growth processes and motivation for change show that what we really need is rest. Simply rest. "Happiness is born from the possibility of accepting ourselves exactly as we are, from the knowledge that pain and joy, weakness and strength, fame and failure are all essential to the human experience." Dr. Christine Neff Picture was taken from Pinterest

We all have it. We were born connected to it, and it’s always available to us. The thing is, we don’t always have access to it or sensitivity to hear it. Intuition is a physical response, a kind of knowing that comes before thinking. It’s that feeling of just knowing  something in a situation, without being able to explain how. It’s the way to build inner authority and a sense of personal truth, a path toward our own inner knowing. For me, intuition has been a good friend in the painful process of letting go of the need for outside approval and learning to walk my own path. When I listen to it and trust it, it’s like a lighthouse guiding me toward the choices and ideas that are truly right for me. We can ask others for advice, read, and learn from many sources, but the truth is, only we can fully understand what’s right for us at this moment. An intuitive decision might seem unreasonable to others, but for us, it’s the truest one. About two years ago, I decided to leave a job I had dreamed of. Logic told me it made no sense, there were many reasons to be afraid, but my intuition knew from the start that it wasn’t my place. I felt I was drifting away from myself and my truth. Intuition doesn’t always make life easy or offer shortcuts. Listening to it led me on a long journey through fear, uncertainty, doubt, and deep self-exploration. I found myself facing parts of me I had never dared to meet before. Intuition invites us to ask questions like: Do I love what I do? am I living the life I want to live? What would I do if I weren’t afraid? Am I bringing my best self into my life and the world? Each time we find the courage to ask and look within, intuition will show the way. Intuition is the wisdom of the heart, a connection to the intelligence of the body. It’s sometimes called “the middle way” because it’s the balance between two states of mind that often conflict: rational thinking and emotional thinking. The conflict between them usually starts from emotional pain we experienced at some point in life. To cope, our rational mind took control and pushed emotions aside. When logic dominates without balance, we become ruled by practicality feelings like love, guilt, or sadness seem irrelevant. This kind of thinking feels “cold.” When we’re driven only by emotions, we’re ruled by moods, impulses, and feelings. Logic and facts lose importance this is a “hot” mind. Sometimes we need to lean more on reason, and sometimes on emotion but most of life’s situations are complex and call for balance between them. The intuitive state is that middle ground, when we can respond rationally while still honoring and understanding our feelings. It’s when we allow an inner conversation between mind and heart, and take responsibility for leading both, instead of being led by them. It’s not easy to develop access to this balanced, intuitive place, not easy, but simple. The first step is to accept that there is deep intelligence within us. We need to turn inward, to our deepest place, and nurture sensitivity to the wisdom in our body. We can notice messages that come in many forms: a song on the radio, a picture, a person we meet, an image, an inner voice, or a clear sense of knowing. The idea is to pay attention to what each message stirs inside us. This means allowing our rational mind to receive information from our emotional mind which is often quiet and gentle, and that’s why we sometimes ignore it. The hardest thing for all of us is to truly trust ourselves. The way we interpret a message matters because instincts and intuition can feel similar. If fear takes over, we might mistake an intuitive message for a sign to avoid something, when actually we’re being called to face our fears. We’re not looking for the right answer but for what feels true and aligned for us in this moment. Listening to intuition helps us move toward our deeper goals and the way of being that feels authentic. It’s just like learning to drive, at first it takes focus, but with time it becomes natural. When we listen deeply, we become the knowing itself. In today’s world, where we’re flooded with information, much of it false, manipulative, or fear-based it’s more important than ever to build inner listening and inner authority as our guiding light. All the wisdom we need already lives inside us. Creating moments of stillness and connection is a personal journey between each of us and ourselves, and between us and the Divine. Each person has their own way to connect inward. It requires slowing down, openness, and courage to listen and observe everything that is within us: the beautiful, the divine, and also the wounded or imperfect parts. Everything has a place. Intuition is a sacred gift, and rational thought is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. Albert Einstein

Emotions are messages. When we pause to observe them, we can learn what are they telling us and what message they carry. When we get “taken over”  by emotions, they control us — we react automatically, without awareness or reflection .Paying attention to our emotions and their messages allows us to respond calmly, in ways that support our growth and well-being. So, what do our emotions tell us? And what action impulse is linked to each of them? Anger Anger appears when an important goal is blocked, or when someone we care about is threatened or attacked. It fuels social justice and warns us about unfairness, motivating us to act. Anger prepares the body for physical response, like protecting ourselves or setting boundaries. It gives energy and a sense of control — but this energy can become blind and destructive if not guided by awareness. Sadness Sadness arises when we experience loss — when things are not as we hoped or expected. Its action impulses are withdrawal, low motivation, and inner reflection. Sadness helps us slow down, grieve, and make meaning before re-engaging with life. Fear Fear signals that our life, health, or well-being might be at risk. It often echoes past experiences of threat or harm. While fear was essential for survival in ancient times, today it can appear when our self-worth feels threatened. It’s important to listen to fear when it warns of real danger, but also to recognize imagined threats. Growth happens when we sometimes do what scares us — life without fear is life without courage. Disgust Disgust warns that we are in contact with something unclean, bad, or toxic. Its impulse is to move away from what could harm us. For example, disgust keeps us from eating spoiled food. But when directed toward ourselves, it can become deeply destructive. Jealousy Jealousy tells us that someone has something we want or need but cannot have. It highlights our desires and unmet needs. Jealousy can work in two ways: It can motivate us to achieve what we want, or It can make us want to destroy what others have — leaving everyone unhappy. Love Love draws us toward those we feel connected to. It inspires kindness, sharing, and care. Love creates relationships, friendships, community, and partnerships — all essential for connection and growth. Shame Shame means “I am bad.” it is the most painful emotion because it makes us fear rejection if others truly see who we are. Its impulses are withdrawal, hiding, and isolation. Shame is tied to our self-image and often carries beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t belong,” or “I’m a burden.” When people cannot hold their shame, they may act in harmful ways toward themselves or others. Guilt Unlike shame ( “I am bad” ), guilt means “I did something bad.” It signals that our behavior violated our values or moral code. Its impulse is to repair — to make amends, fix the harm, and change our actions. Joy Joy appears when we achieve something meaningful, receive love, or share a positive connection. It brings people closer and is linked to freedom, fulfillment, independence, and safety. Joy expands our inner strength, fuels creativity, and motivates us toward dreams and action. We are not our emotions — we are the awareness that notices them. Observing emotions from a distance opens a space for understanding. It means noticing the feeling, the sensations, and the impulses without judgment or suppression. Sometimes the right choice is to act on the impulse. Sometimes growth means doing the opposite. And sometimes, the most powerful choice is simply to stay present, feel what arises, and let it pass through.

Imagine a situation in which two children decide to fight over a chocolate package the next day. The first one goes home and starts planning a strategy, he thinks of tricks and manipulations that will make him win the chocolate. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat, he's stressed, preparing for the fight and thinking about how to win. The second one goes home, and receives a promise from his father that if he loses, he will get 20 chocolate packages, that everything is fine and that he has no reason to worry. He is calm, sleeps well and eats well, because for him it's a win-win. If he wins - great and if he doesn't win - no problem, he has all the chocolate in the world and therefore he is calm. When you truly trust God as a loving Father, you are never lonely in the world. you will have everything you need and you will be free in the world that is your home, God's home. I received this story as a gift from Stuti, a young Indian woman, who taught me Reiki in Rishikesh, India. You're not afraid of being alone, you're afraid of being lonely, she said to me. At this stage of the journey, I'm being asked to go through the process of saying goodbye to everything that obscures my sense of loneliness in the world. I've already learned that I know how to be alone in my own company, whether it's spending time with myself or when I'm flying alone to a faraway place. But do you really trust God? Do you know that you're never lonely in the world? In order to create the beneficial connections, I have to agree to be lonely. There's a paradox in this, because on the one hand, I know (for sure) that we were born wired for human connection, intimacy and closeness. on the other hand, I understand that a connection that is filled with love can only be realized when we not only know how to be alone, but also agree to say goodbye to the fear of being lonely. It's scary to be lonely in the world. Who will help me if I need help? Who will I call if I'm in trouble? But if the fear of loneliness is what is working within me, I may choose the wrong people to surround myself with or find myself in situations that are not good. Agreeing to be lonely without being frightened is surrendering to God. It is the knowledge (not belief, because there is a difference between the two) that if I am in connection with my innermost truth, if I do not betray myself and do not hold on to something that comforts me, God will be there for me. He will give me what I need to cope with what is in front of me, with everything that will come. I learned throughout my life to care about the people around me. Caring for others is generosity and kindness, but it was also my way of not feeling lonely in the world. I could always gather people around me and there was always someone I could pick up the phone to, there was always someone to be with, but these were not always the right people for me or the connections based on truth, reciprocity or shared growth. The fear of being lonely sometimes attracted situations to me that were not good for me, ones that had a utilitarian give-and-take relationship. Today I agree to be lonely in the world, learning to trust the path, which is always wiser than those who walk it. This is my way of saying goodbye to unnecessary suffering. When I give up the need to fill something that is missing from the outside, when I know that I don't need to hold on to anything, I come closer to freedom. If I believe that salvation or the cure for my loneliness is in someone else's hands, I am not free. This does not mean that I do not need friends or community, of course. It means that in order to create relationships based on love, closeness, truth and integrity, ones that do not have attachments or hidden agreements based on childhood wounds, I must be free of all will. I must surrender completely to unconditional love for myself and for others. I am here, in God's world, He is available to me and when I turn to Him from deep silence within me and with intention, He shows me the way. I don't always understand the way in real time, but when I listen and trust it, it reveals my journey and brings me closer to my destiny, to the deep reason why I am here. Rishikesh, India