You are not lonely in the world

Imagine a situation in which two children decide to fight over a chocolate package the next day. The first one goes home and starts planning a strategy, he thinks of tricks and manipulations that will make him win the chocolate. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat, he's stressed, preparing for the fight and thinking about how to win. The second one goes home, and receives a promise from his father that if he loses, he will get 20 chocolate packages, that everything is fine and that he has no reason to worry. He is calm, sleeps well and eats well, because for him it's a win-win. If he wins - great and if he doesn't win - no problem, he has all the chocolate in the world and therefore he is calm.

When you truly trust God as a loving Father, you are never lonely in the world. you will have everything you need and you will be free in the world that is your home, God's home. I received this story as a gift from Stuti, a young Indian woman, who taught me Reiki in Rishikesh, India.

You're not afraid of being alone, you're afraid of being lonely, she said to me. At this stage of the journey, I'm being asked to go through the process of saying goodbye to everything that obscures my sense of loneliness in the world. I've already learned that I know how to be alone in my own company, whether it's spending time with myself or when I'm flying alone to a faraway place. But do you really trust God? Do you know that you're never lonely in the world? In order to create the beneficial connections, I have to agree to be lonely. There's a paradox in this, because on the one hand, I know (for sure) that we were born wired for human connection, intimacy and closeness. on the other hand, I understand that a connection that is filled with love can only be realized when we not only know how to be alone, but also agree to say goodbye to the fear of being lonely. It's scary to be lonely in the world. Who will help me if I need help? Who will I call if I'm in trouble? But if the fear of loneliness is what is working within me, I may choose the wrong people to surround myself with or find myself in situations that are not good. Agreeing to be lonely without being frightened is surrendering to God. It is the knowledge (not belief, because there is a difference between the two) that if I am in connection with my innermost truth, if I do not betray myself and do not hold on to something that comforts me, God will be there for me. He will give me what I need to cope with what is in front of me, with everything that will come.

I learned throughout my life to care about the people around me. Caring for others is generosity and kindness, but it was also my way of not feeling lonely in the world. I could always gather people around me and there was always someone I could pick up the phone to, there was always someone to be with, but these were not always the right people for me or the connections based on truth, reciprocity or shared growth. The fear of being lonely sometimes attracted situations to me that were not good for me, ones that had a utilitarian give-and-take relationship.

Today I agree to be lonely in the world, learning to trust the path, which is always wiser than those who walk it. This is my way of saying goodbye to unnecessary suffering. When I give up the need to fill something that is missing from the outside, when I know that I don't need to hold on to anything, I come closer to freedom. If I believe that salvation or the cure for my loneliness is in someone else's hands, I am not free. This does not mean that I do not need friends or community, of course. It means that in order to create relationships based on love, closeness, truth and integrity, ones that do not have attachments or hidden agreements based on childhood wounds, I must be free of all will. I must surrender completely to unconditional love for myself and for others. I am here, in God's world, He is available to me and when I turn to Him from deep silence within me and with intention, He shows me the way. I don't always understand the way in real time, but when I listen and trust it, it reveals my journey and brings me closer to my destiny, to the deep reason why I am here.

Rishikesh, India